A few weekends ago I was sat surrounded by my friends watching Hocus Pocus when it hit me. I’m happy again. It’s been 5 months since I split up with my boyfriend, and it’s been a tough few months, but I’m finally over it. I wish I could sit here and say that I’m happy again after only 5 months of unhappiness, but the truth is, it’s been a long time since I was truly happy.
I can gladly say I can’t remember the last time I cried. I know for some of you might seem like normal, but until a few months ago, all I did was cry. I was in an unhappy relationship and it was putting me in such a bad place. Everytime he stood me up, everytime he ignored my phone calls and my texts. Everytime I felt I was trying so hard just to get absolutely nothing in return.
I tried so hard to put on a happy face. I went out and about, put on a smile, and pretended there was nothing wrong. But there where times were I just couldn’t keep it together. My poor friend Rosie unfortunately had to deal with quite a few of these weak moments after I had a few drinks (it’s true people, gin makes you weepy).
Unfortunately, no matter how down I got, I held onto my relationship with everything I could. I just wouldn’t let go. Not until I had no choice. I’m not sure why I did it. I knew we weren’t working, I knew we weren’t right for each other. But I was just too weak to say goodbye.
5 months on from my breakup, I can honestly say it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I no longer cry myself to sleep. I no longer feel like I’m not good enough. I’m no longer having breakdowns on twitter or in the toilets of bars. I’m me again. The carefree, silly girl who can have a laugh on a night out and is up for a fun time.
I just want to point out that I am in no way trying to criticise my ex in this post. Despite how bad I might make him sound in this, he really was a great guy. We were just two very different people and he couldn’t give me what I needed because he just isn’t that guy.
This is another one of my pointless posts. But I really wanted to write about this because I want to be able to look back on this moment so I can remember how happy I am. And maybe so that others can know that there is hope. And as hard as it may be, if there is something in your life that it making you unhappy then try to let it go. As scary as it may seem, it might just be exactly what you need.*POST MAY CONTAIN AFFILIATE LINKS