I’m happy again

I'm happy again

A few weekends ago I was sat surrounded by my friends watching Hocus Pocus when it hit me. I’m happy again. It’s been 5 months since I split up with my boyfriend, and it’s been a tough few months, but I’m finally over it. I wish I could sit here and say that I’m happy again after only 5 months of unhappiness, but the truth is, it’s been a long time since I was truly happy.

I can gladly say I can’t remember the last time I cried. I know for some of you might seem like normal, but until a few months ago, all I did was cry. I was in an unhappy relationship and it was putting me in such a bad place. Everytime he stood me up, everytime he ignored my phone calls and my texts. Everytime I felt I was trying so hard just to get absolutely nothing in return.

I tried so hard to put on a happy face. I went out and about, put on a smile, and pretended there was nothing wrong. But there where times were I just couldn’t keep it together. My poor friend Rosie unfortunately had to deal with quite a few of these weak moments after I had a few drinks (it’s true people, gin makes you weepy).

Unfortunately, no matter how down I got, I held onto my relationship with everything I could. I just wouldn’t let go. Not until I had no choice. I’m not sure why I did it. I knew we weren’t working, I knew we weren’t right for each other. But I was just too weak to say goodbye.

5 months on from my breakup, I can honestly say it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I no longer cry myself to sleep. I no longer feel like I’m not good enough. I’m no longer having breakdowns on twitter or in the toilets of bars. I’m me again. The carefree, silly girl who can have a laugh on a night out and is up for a fun time.

I just want to point out that I am in no way trying to criticise my ex in this post. Despite how bad I might make him sound in this, he really was a great guy. We were just two very different people and he couldn’t give me what I needed because he just isn’t that guy.

This is another one of my pointless posts. But I really wanted to write about this because I want to be able to look back on this moment so I can remember how happy I am. And maybe so that others can know that there is hope. And as hard as it may be, if there is something in your life that it making you unhappy then try to let it go. As scary as it may seem, it might just be exactly what you need.

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  • This is such a lovely and personal post. Break ups are hard but I’m glad you found you again and are happy now. Family heal most things, I find. ❤️

  • Not a pointless post at all! I think it’s great you’re talking about break ups because the they’re such a natural part of time. I’m so happy to hear you’re in a better place and mood now! 💚

  • I’m so happy that you’ve been able to be happy again! A breakup can really shake up your feelings and can take a long time to heal – it’s great to hear that you’re in a better place x

    Kayleigh Zara 🌿www.kayleighzaraa.com

  • This is far from a pointless post Lauren! I had a lump in my throat reading this. You deserve to be happy. Massive hugs xxxxxxx

    lucylovesbeautyxo.com

  • No this is definitely not a pointless post! It’s amazing that you’re happy again and have overcome it all. Well done lovely x

  • Yes yes YES Lauren! I am so over the moon that you’ve found happiness again and that you can’t even remember the last time you cried! When a relationship isn’t going as well as you’d like it to, it really is debilitating and like you, I’m much more of the type of person to hang on and try to save it than to give up, but it sounds like now you’re a little way down the road from the breakup that it really has given you a new lease of life! This post put a huge smile on my face – keep putting yourself first and making yourself happy because you’re so deserving!

    Abbey ❤️ http://www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

  • I think it’s good to have something like this post to look on, for sure! Glad you’re feeling better now, it’s not easy! x

  • Oh my god, Lauren. You have no idea how hard this hit me in the feels. I remember just how down you was when you was going through such an awful time of your life but doing so will have and will lead you to beautiful places and seeing and knowing you’re finally truly happy again makes my heart SO HAPPY. I love you, I told you that you could do it and I’m so proud of you!

  • ‘I’m me again’ yes girl, this is what we like to see!! Its so easy to hang on to a relationship sometimes because you really do become dependant on people without realising, and leaving a relationship is like learning to do everything independantly again! Im so glad that youre finally back happy again and not remembering the last time you cried is a huge step in the right direction!

    Sarah | http://www.sazsinclair.com xx

  • Lauren this is such a lovely post. It’s amazing to hear that you finally feel like yourself again and that you’re no longer crying often. I remember being like that a few years ago and when you finally let go of that sadness, it feels amazing. I’m so happy for you lovely xx

    http://www.imjustagirl16.co.uk

  • Sian…

    I’m so glad that you feel great again. It’s so important to always put yourself first. I feel like you have to go through a break up sometimes to evaluate where you are in life and what you want to do. I’m so bloody proud of you!

    Sian x
    http://www.theenglisheverygirl.com

  • I’m so, so glad you feel great again Lauren and are not crying again. You being and feeling like you is how it should be so I’m extremely happy for you xx

    Kristy | http://www.thevioletblonde.com

  • Glad that you are happy again!! You look gorgeous in that pictures as well!!! xox

  • yes girl!! Firstly you look beautiful in that photo, and secondly it’s the best feeling after a break-up when you can finally say to yourself you’re free and happy and can move on to bigger and better things xx

    G