Moving on from a breakup

Moving on from a breakup

If any of you follow me on here or on twitter, you will probably know that I broke up with my boyfriend of two years at the start of the summer. It’s been two months now and I’m happy to say I’m no longer crying, or upset, but now I’m on to the next stage… moving on. And I’m struggling.

It’s not that I’m emotionally unable to move on. To be honest, I just don’t know how. I’ve never been the best when it comes to flirting. I’m awkward, especially around guys I don’t know. And even if I wasn’t awkward, I wouldn’t know where to begin with meeting guys. I hardly go out anymore, I work with teenagers and fully grown adults (you know what I mean, like 40+ people), and I spend all my spare time blogging. Also, when I’m out I tend to get hit on by a bunch of 20 year olds due to my babyface.

I know that everyone is into online dating these days, but honestly, it scares me. I’ve downloaded both tinder and bumble and hate them both. Sure, I can spend hours swiping through everyone (that bit is fun), but the conversation… now that’s scary. And why do guys never send the first message? No joke, I’ve had to initiate every single conversation I’ve had.

And while we’re on the topic of the conversations… wtf am I supposed to say? How do I start? Should I start with some cheesy chat up line? A funny joke? Or just a generic: hey, what’s up? And when we get into the conversations I’m pretty sure I come across as boring. Don’t get me wrong- I have a sense of humour. In fact, some people might even call me funny (not too many people mind). But my humour is very much sarcasm based. And as anybody who is fluent in sarcasm will tell you- it DOES NOT translate well over a message.

So there you have it. My random ramblings on how the hell I’m supposed to move on. If you have any tips, or any hot 25 year old single male relatives, then please; send them my way.

  • Pili G

    Moving on is hard! I struggle with similar things (Social anxiety here) but I think it just takes time. You don’t have to rush to a new relationship if you are not ready.
    I’ve only use tinder like once and it was to mess around with my friends haha. But it is a bit scary and I agree! Guys never start the conversation. I think a simple hey whats up? can start a conversation.
    Good luck!
    To Read with Tea

  • I feel you girl! I’ve been single for 3 years now and the first 6 months was tough for me, but I’ve had a great time just spending time with my friends and dancing until 5am without having any guy to report to! Enjoy being single and when you least expect it your prince charming will come around xx


  • Sian…

    And if anyone knows two, send them my way! I only ever get hit on by chavs or teenage boys and I’m 24! I’ve been single for over 2 years and it can be hard every so often, even now. My ex is now engaged to my ex best friend and even though I know that I would’ve ended it eventually, it still annoys me that he moved on before me! Now I’m single and feel like my life’s going places, I don’t feel as jealous anymore! I’ve had the best couple of years on my own and probably don’t have much time for a guy! I guess sometimes we can feel lonely, usually at night haha!

    Sian x

  • Emma Ramsell

    Oh I wish I knew! I’ve been single since march and its so difficult to meet any one you have natural chemistry with. I think it does get easier over time and things come and go that will make it easier in the long run. Maybe.
    Everyone wants to be loved by some one worth while and sometimes, you have to wait it out. Its pants but true.
    Sending Hugs.
    Em xxx

  • I know how hard it was initially for you so I’m so happy to read that you’re no longer going through the toughest of emotions like you usually do at first in a breakup. I’ve never been in this position, only something very briefly which didn’t affect me badly so can’t comment on advice or how to move on from that aspect but know that honey, you are doing fabulous and as your friend I’m so proud of how far you’ve come in the last few months!!!! Good luck with those dating apps BTW, let me swipe through them when I see you… I love going on my friend’s tinder when we hang out and swiping, that’s deffo the fun bit!

  • Oh man, it is so difficult to get back into it! A few years ago my 4 year relationship ended, and I was single after that for 2 and a half years. I just didn’t know what to do! That said, I feel like I rediscovered who I was in that time haha. Easier said than done, but just go with the flow and don’t feel like you have to force anything. It’ll all come!

  • Awww Lauren! I think you’re doing amazingly well and should give yourself more credit! Breakups are always incredibly difficult and the fact that you’ve reached the stage where you can consider moving on, and that you’ve taken steps to do so, is brilliant! Dating apps also terrify me – I feel like men are only on Tinder for one thing haha so I am staying away for as long as possible! I couldn’t think of anything scarier than sending the first message, it surprises me that the men aren’t more forward though! I am confident that you’ll meet someone amazing one way or another, you never know who you might bump into randomly one day, or come across online! The perfect man is out there probably searching for you right now too! You deserve all of the happiness because you’re a stunning girl with a beautiful personality to match!

    Abbey 😇