Insecurities- We All Have Them

Insecurities

So here I am, sat at 10 o’clock at night, writing a post from which I was inspired by Love Island. Definitely not something I ever thought would happen. But in tonights episode (tonight as in Wednesday 5th, when I’m writing this), Gabby showed a vulnerable side. And it was a vulnerable side I could definitely relate to.

For those of you who don’t watch it, I’ll give you the low down. Two new guys entered the villa tonight, and they both got to choose three girls to go on a date with. Between the two of them, they chose Amber, Tyla, Olivia and Camilla for their dates. Unfortunately, this left Gabby feeling very left out and upset. She explained that she felt ugly, and as if she wasn’t as good as the other girls.

As soon as this started to go down, I could instantly feel myself tear up. All I wanted to do was reach into the tv, and give her the biggest hug. Why? Because everything she was saying, I could 100% relate to. I am one of the most insecure girls around. Not that a lot of people would know it, because I’m pretty good at hiding it.

When Gabby first started ‘complaining’ over the fact she never gets asked on dates, twitter was split. Half the tweets I saw where upset for her. The other half, where asking wtf she was doing complaining when she has Marcel. But I TOTALLY got it. Back when I was still with my boyfriend, and I would go on nights out, I had the exact same feelings. We used to go out, and there were lots of nights when guys would hit on all my friend, but not me. And let me tell you: it wasn’t a good feeling.

Did I want to be hit on? No. But did I want that validation that somebody other than my boyfriend found me attractive? Hell yes. Maybe that makes me a bitch, or an attention-seeker. Quite frankly I don’t care. Because the truth of the matter is I’m simply insecure. I’m always comparing myself to my friends, to other girls in the room, to the other girls who blog. And I can’t help it.

Gabby’s comment about looking to go out and get a boob job, and longer hair, also totally related to me. Ever since I can remember, I’ve talked about wanted a nose job. My boobs are non-existent so I also want a boob job. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) I will probably never be in the financial position to get these. But I can’t see me ever not wanting them.

If we are all honest with ourself, most of us have insecurities. It’s a scary, sad fact, but it’s true. Even the tallest, skinniest, most ‘perfect’ of people will have insecurities. I don’t even really know what the point of this post is. Maybe it’s just to remind everybody that you are not alone. Crazy that it took an episode of Love Island to remind me of that.

Oh and a note to everybody: Find yourself a Marcel <3

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  • Helena Mulhearn

    I completely agree with you here, we’d all be lying if we said we didn’t enjoy being told we look good!

  • Freya Meadows

    I relate to this so much. We are pitted against each other so much in the media and we are told our beauty has so much worth that it is SO easy to feel bad about ourselves! Plus, we all love a little validation here and there – and there’s nothing wrong with that!

  • Chloe

    I understand where you’re coming from girl! It’s such a weird thing to explain but sometimes we do need validation from others! Xx

  • I remember seeing this episode of Love Island and my heart broke for gabby because she shouldn’t feel that way she’s gorgeous! On the other hand I understand feeling wanting to make alterations to my own body to feel like I’m more beautiful – it’s a really vicious cycle x

    Kayleigh Zara 🌻✨ http://www.kayleighzaraa.com

  • Oh Lauren, I can totally relate to this post! One of the biggest things I’ve been working on this year is feeling confident without external validation (whether that’s from guys hitting on me on a night out, to compliments from a boyfriend, or things my family say). Although I don’t watch Love Island, I totally resonate with Gabby’s situation – it’s hard sometimes not to focus on what we don’t have and to appreciate what is right there in front of us, like Gabby’s Marcel! I think you’re an incredibly stunning young woman, I see your photos and Insta stories all the time and I honestly wouldn’t have guessed that you felt bad about your nose, I don’t see any reason for you to dislike it! And hooray for the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, of which I’m also a member! Nothing wrong with being on the smaller side in the slightest, at least ours won’t go saggy! πŸ˜‰ Thanks for sharing this open and honest post, big love and respect for you!

    Abbey πŸ’‹ http://www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

  • Lauren, you are one of the most genuine and BEAUTIFUL girlies I am so proud to know. Those guys probably never approached you because they were intimidated, they would instantly assume you have a boyfriend. I am probably the only person on the planet that doesn’t watch Love Island (mainly because every night is a commitment haha) I really hope Gabby sticks with her Marcel!! xxxxxxxxx

    lucylovesbeautyxo.com

  • Loved reading this! I totally know what you mean I feel like this sometimes – all my friends are in couples and they are so happy. Sometimes I look around going what about me…. where’s my validation. I hate how I look sometimes because I think others don’t get it but at the end of the day this is me and I need to learn that nobody else matters but me! Great post πŸ™‚ xxo

    Rach | https://caninesandcosmetics.blogspot.co.uk

  • This post is so powerful! I haven’t seen Love Island (I know – strange of me) but this post is so relatable to many women! I also compare myself to friends and when I was younger I always went out and no one saw me attractive compared to the girls I was with. It leaves your confidence shattered.

    Lauren, you are beautiful and if we were out together; you would be the friend getting all the looks πŸ™‚ You’re stunning!

    Steph xx
    http://www.stephsworld.com

    p.s – boobs don’t matter when your personality shines through! They don’t matter anyway πŸ™‚

  • I could probably write an entire blog post as a reply to this I have that much to say. I completely agree with you. I’ve been in a relationship 5 years, but it’s still nice to know other people think you’re nice. It’s so horrible, how horrible we can be to ourselves isn’t it?

    I’ve never been overly girly. In fact I was standing yesterday in my checkered vans, tee and jeans looking around me at the smokey eyed, tanned girls sporting a fancy co-ord or something I consider as v.dressy and couldn’t help but feel frumpy and less feminine. Yet I can’t win, because the thought of me showing off so much flesh and looking so girly makes me feel sick. I’m much comfier in my vans and skinnys.

    Life is weird as a female!

    http://www.hellosaralou.blogspot.com

  • I don’t watch Love Island, but the scenario sounds like something a lot of people go through. In a picture perfect world, it’s refreshing to be reminded about this side of things – that most of us have insecurities. I used to rely on external validation, I used that to judge how pretty, smart, fun I am, but 2017 has really turned into a year of appreciating everything I am, and everything I have achieved. I’ve stopped seeking validation from others; I realised that not everyone is going to like me, and if someone is going to judge my appearance or treat me differently because I look different to them, they’re not nice people at all so why care what they think! On the other end of things, I’ve been making an effort to compliment strangers. Where I would think “I like her shoes” or “her hair is so cool”, I now say it, you never know when it can make someones day πŸ™‚

    http://www.lovefrommaira.co.uk

  • Stacey

    I had mixed feelings during that episode. On one hand I wished Gabby could look at the situation logically and realise that the boys are unlikely to choose her for a date as she is so obviously smitten with Marcel. They could have nothing to gain so I’m certain it is nothing to do with her appearance or character. She’s gorgeous.

    On the other hand, I understand completely that feelings aren’t always logical and it is easy to take offence if you are feeling low or have insecurities. It’s such a shame that women value themselves based on their looks or male opinions and can’t just see how great they are for their own merit.

    P.S You’re beautiful too. Sadly I sometimes think we can see the beauty in everyone but ourselves.

  • I loved this post, sometimes I watch Love Island and think – none of them have cellulite, they’re all hairless and look 10/10 without make-up and I could never be on that show πŸ˜‚ but again they’re chosen for a reason and the average girl doesn’t look like that. We all have our own hang-ups and beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all! x

    G

    http://www.teawithgi.com

  • This is a beautiful post Lauren, I really admire you for writing this. Sometimes you don’t realise until you read someone else speaking the words in your mind and you put it perfectly. Such a great post xxx