Feeling Lost In Your Twenties

Feeling lost in your twenties

Your twenties are a strange time. Everyone expects you to have it together. You’re supposed to have the career, the relationship and the perfect friendships. But the truth is, most of us are still trying to find out who we are and what exactly it is we want from life. So todays post is going to be about exactly that. Feeling lost in your twenties.

Careers

Ah careers. It’s a tricky one isn’t it? I’m nearing the age of twenty-five and still stuck in a dead end job in a supermarket. I’m not even full time: I’m on a zero hour contact. Don’t get me wrong, I could probably get a full time contract with them if I really wanted to, but the truth is I don’t want one. I know most people probably think I’m a failure. After all, I went to university. I got the degree. I just chose not to pursue a career in anything child related which is what I studied at university.

Honestly, I still find it astonishing that we are expected to know what we want to do for the rest of our lives at the age of 17 or 18. Back then, I thought I wanted to be a teacher. About half way through my degree I realised that wasn’t for me. And by the time I graduated I had decided that I didn’t want to work with children at all. So it was back to the drawing board for me. I’ve finally decided I want to pursue digital marketing, but of course it means a lot of work and perhaps going back to school.

Relationships

I’ve been in a relationship now for a year and a half, but a lot of my friends are still single. For most of them, this seems to be a cause for concern. They think if they don’t find somebody soon they’ll be single for ever. You see, society has made us think that if we aren’t married off by our mid-twenties we’re past our sell-by dates. Even being in a relationship doesn’t stop societies questions. I get asked constantly when me and my boyfriend are getting engaged. I mean seriously? We’ve only been together a year and a half. We both live at home. I don’t even have a proper job. Why would anyone think I would want to get married right now?

Friendships

When we are in school, friendships are so easy. You see each other five days a week in school. You have little to no responsibilities that get in the way of nights out, shopping trips or holidays. As we get older, we move away, get new jobs, get new responsibilities. This results in a lot of friendships ending. It’s difficult to deal with, but it happens. However what we’re left with is a few strong, real friendships.

Independence

When we’re younger, I’m sure most of us imagine that by our mid-twenties we will all own our own house. Unfortunately for a lot of us this isn’t a case. I lived in Belfast during university and moving back home was difficult for me. It still is. Don’t get me wrong, my family is easy to live with. But I miss having my own independence. Not being questioned every time I leave the house, and having someone comment on what time I stay up. Unfortunately I can’t afford to move out right now. I chose to buy a car instead. I’m not even sure when I’ll be able to afford to move out. It’s all just so expensive.

Does anybody else ever feel lost? Let me know in the comments so we can all feel lost together!

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  • Sian…

    I agree with all of your points. I’ve just turned 24, I’m working part-time in retail, I’ve been single nearly two years now and still live at home. My aim for this year is to find a full-time job but I’ll make do with anything right now because I want to save up to move away. I love living at home as my parents are great and let me be independent but I’d like my own place. People seem to think that your twenties are time to settle down. My two best friends have been with their boyfriends 3+ years and want to get married and start a family and I’m the complete opposite! I love being single and focusing on myself right now! I’m certainly feeling a little lost but I know I’ll be fine 🙂

    Sian x
    http://theenglisheverygirl.blogspot.co.uk/

    • It’s my aim to find a full time job as well! Yes, my parents let me be independent as well, but it would definitely be so nice to be able to have our own places to put our marks on. And I’m the opposite aswell. I’m in a relationshop but I’m still in no rush to settle down in any way.
      x Lauren

  • Sounds like 20s life is ever so much fun 😉 I have got all this to look ahead to as I’ve only just hit 20! But can already start to see things happening! You’ll get on the right path in the end! X

    Victoria | VictoriaaHelenn

    • I think it really is when we discover who we are which is why it’s such a hard time. We’re finally becoming proper adults and it’s a difficult transition. But at the same time, I have had some of my best adventures in my twenties!
      x Lauren

  • I totally get all of these. Some of my friends who are the same age seem to have their life together. I have a job but it’s temporary and I am saving for a house but it’ll take forever. I am single and it seems so hard to see the end of the tunnel. So glad to see i’m not alone 🙂 xxx

    Rach | http://doublejointedgirlandherdog.blogspot.co.uk/

    • Oh you are definitely not alone! I have a job but its a zero-hour contract, and atm I’m finding it so difficult to save for anything.
      x Lauren

  • This was a post I really needed to read, Lauren! Thank you for making me feel not quite so alone in my feelings of being lost! I’m just finishing my second degree (my MA) now, and I’m moving back in with my parents after the summer! I’m really nervous about it and about being perceived as a “failure” but reading this has totally assured me that I’m not! Moving back home will only be temporary and once I have a job, I’ll be looking for my own place! It sounds like you really know what you want now and that you’re ready to go for it – I wish you every success, I’ve no doubt that you’ll get to where you need to be! 💪🏼

    Abbey 💓 http://www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

    • Thank you for reading Abbey, and don’t worry, you are definitely not alone! I’m glad that you’ve found it a useful post, it’s something that I’ve had in my drafts for ages but was always too worried to actually write it up!
      x Lauren

  • Rianne Mitchell

    I feel like it’s only until something like this is discussed do we realise that we’re all in a similar boat which is comforting (somewhat). Being 20 odd I do feel like I should have my ish together, especially as at this age my mum was married, had her own place and had 2 kids. But, I try not to fret though, I know I’m doing all I can to change my situation and be happy x

    • It definitely is Rianne, and I have to say I feel so much better after reading everyones comments saying they feel the same way! And I always compare myself to my parents aswell: at my age my mum was also married with two kids (in fact she had her third on the way) but I try and remind myself that it was a different time back then, and we have to do things our way
      x Lauren

  • Lucy

    I turned 30 in January… when I first turned 20 I thought I knew everything… I knew nothing haha. I finally got with my partner at 23… got a mortgage at 24… had a baby at 26…. I still don’t feel like I have my shit together haha…Only thing I know is I love being a mum. So its ok not to have it all planned out in your twenties! xxxxxxxx

    lucylovesbeautyxo.com

    • I’m glad to hear that Lucy! And atleast you know you love being a mum, that’s definitely the most important thing!
      x Lauren

  • I turned 21 last year and still live at home, I feel like I need that independence so much but like you said it is so expensive!! I feel like I am also just working what I want to be and sorting my lie out!!
    I glad I am not the only one, thanks for sharing xox

    • It definitely so expensive! I’m always looking at flats online, and I don’t know how I can ever be expected to pay for rent and a car and still have some sort of life. And thank you for reading! Everyones comments on this post have made me feel so much more relaxed about everything!
      x Lauren

  • Great post, I like your blog!

    I think most of us feel like this and the issue is because we’re suddenly aware that our expectations of adulthood are like 20-30 years outdated. I like to remind my parents that my boyfriend and I are the exact same ages they were (22 + 21) when they had me and were living in their own house because their expressions are priceless! My aunt and uncle were married at my age too.

    I graduate this summer and I’m trying everything in my power to ensure I don’t move back home. There are no job prospects there and it’s 200 miles away. To most students I’m being too ambitious but I’m willing to live in a shitty little place and eat cheap meals if it means independence! I feel like it’s a bit of a rite of passage for adulthood.

    Zoe Louise | http://bit.ly/zoelouiseblog

    • I definitely agree with you there Zoe! I always think about how my mum was married with two kids when she was my age, and it’s crazy to think about. I really hope you get something sorted! I still half-lived at home during uni (I came home every weekend since I only lived an hour away) so for most people I know at uni, it was natural for us to move back home. I definitely wish I could have stayed in my own place though
      x Lauren

  • I love this post, and your blog! I think this is so relatable for most people in their 20’s. But we all just have to keep going and we’ll get there one day.. it’s nice to know that most people go through this though 🙂